Playing "house"

When I was a little one of my favorite games was "house". I know I played with stuffed animals, a doll house, barbies, school and lots of other games with my friends but I loved to play house. Not only did I love to play house but I had to be the mom. My friends and I were very elaborate in our games of house. We built and designed houses and made up story lines before we started to play. We would each have a role to play and I was the mom. I loved being the mom. From a young age being a mom was the job that I wanted and the role I wanted to play.

Once I was a teenager, I started to babysit for lots of people at church and in our neighborhood. I loved each of the kids I babysat for. I loved playing with them and teaching them the little things I could while I was there. Many times if I was having a bad day I would go to my neighbors house and play with her kids because really I couldn't be sad or angry with those sweet faces asking me to play with them. I was not the babysitter who sat on the couch and watched TV and ignored the kids. I wanted to play with them. I wanted to run and teach them to play games. We would play hide and seek, tag, have dance and singing contests, go to the park and play outside. I loved when I could put them to bed and sing to them and cuddle them. Babysitting was a job that only confirmed that I wanted to be a mom someday. I loved those kids that I took care of and I couldn't imagine how much I would love my own children if I loved other peoples that much.

Then when I was a senior in high school I decided I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. I loved teaching and watching kids learn. I also by this time knew that I would likely have problems having children so I figured this would give me an opportunity to still be around children if I wasn't able to have my own. I also enjoyed teaching and discovering ways to help children learn. However, I also knew without a doubt that the job I wanted more than being a teacher was to be a mother.

I then went to BYU-I and earned a teaching degree. I loved teaching and each classroom I worked in was a wonderful experience. I also got to teach primary at church with Mike and I loved that too. Once I got married, I had a lot of people asking when I would have kids but I also had people ask me if I would be teaching. I made it clear to anyone who asked that I would love to be a teacher but my ultimate goal was to be a mother. If I couldn't have my own children then I would be happy in the classroom with "my kids" but that wasn't the job I wanted but that doesn't mean I didn't love what I was doing.

I will admit that when we were going through our fertility experience, working in the classrooms with the kids really helped me and gave me the strength to keep going. I put them first and focused on what the students needed instead of myself.  I loved being in the classroom and getting the opportunity to teach and practice selflessness and patience and plenty of other qualities that I needed to work on.

For now though, I have a new job and its the one I've been wanting and working towards for years. All of the babysitting and school and teaching has prepared me for the job I have now. Those experiences taught me patience, love, selflessness, multi tasking, how to think creatively and diversely, that every child is different and unique and has an endless capacity to learn. I learned forgiveness and how to answer tough questions and that sometimes I won't know the answer but that its ok to admit you don't know everything.

Now I have a new job and its a pretty great one so far. I definitely don't know everything and I have a lot to learn but I also have a lot of help. The best part is that I am still a teacher. I get to work one on one with my favorite student everyday and for now its pretty great. I'm grateful for my degree and it was definitely worth it. Who knows, maybe someday I'll go back and teach in the classroom when my kids go to school. For now though, I just want to enjoy learning to be the mom in this real life version of "house" :)