Everyone now and then I have a day that I think I have to take life one day at a time or I'm going to go crazy. The past few days have been this way. I've been agitated and impatient even for me. I'm not afraid to admit that I haven't been in the best mood for the past few days. However, because what is stressing me out is extremely personal between mike and I, I'm not going to refer to it directly. This topic is one that is extremely emotional for me and has tried my faith in many ways and has for some time now. Most people know that I'm impatient and this has tried that patience to the max, almost to the point that I can't take it anymore. The reason it is so hard is because this thing is something that I want more than anything else in the world. It is something I have wanted for as long as I can remember and having to except that it is the ultimate patience and faith builder is devastating.
Some days I worry I'm being punished for past mistakes, other days I worry that it's because I'm not worthy of what I'm asking for. And then sometimes I feel that maybe this is going to be one of my life struggles, something that was meant for me, to help me learn and grow. If that's the case, I will not hesitate to accept it as part of my life, but I will not lie and say that I won't be devastated. I'm grateful though for the friends and family I have that help me through the hard days more than they know and more often than they realize.
Now, more than ever, I need to rely on the Lord and His plan for me and my husband, and trust with all my heart that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. One day at a time...
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